As a marriage counselor, I often hear a man or woman share something they believe about God’s plan for marriage that is just not true. This might be something they were taught or something they gleaned from life experience. You and your spouse may have heard or believed some of them for yourselves. Three quick examples: Marriage is about getting your needs met. Good marriages don’t fight. And lastly – a really popular one – Marriage should be 50/50.
Where do these lies come from? Well, many folks blame these lies on the culture we live in, and I think the culture certainly does contribute to them. But I believe Jesus told us the real source of these lies in John 8:44 when He shared: For you are the children of your father the devil, and you love to do the evil things he does. He was a murderer from the beginning. He has always hated the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, it is consistent with his character; for he is a liar and the father of lies.
So although our culture and our own desires can lead us to lies, the ultimate source of these lies is Satan himself. If, as Jesus said, he is the “father of lies”, then we can rightly attribute lies we believe about marriage to Satan. Just as he deceived Eve in the Garden, he continues to try to deceive us by telling us lies and half-truths to move us away from God’s truth about marriage.
In God’s providence, I recently came upon a post by Tim Challies entitled “If Satan took up Marriage Counseling” – a title no marriage counselor could pass up! And, from my perspective, what Tim shared was so “spot on” that I had to share it with our readers. Below is a sampling of what Tim shared in his post:
If Satan took up marriage counseling, he would want people to believe that marriage was invented by human beings, either for reasons related to humanity’s evolutionary origins or related to men’s need to control and dominate women. He would want people to believe that because marriage came from within this world rather, it in no way reflects any kind of divine design for human beings or human society. This makes it not only unnecessary but possibly harmful and oppressive.
If Satan took up marriage counseling, he would want people to believe that marriage offers no great benefits that cannot be had with singleness, cohabitation, or serial monogamy. He would want people to believe, to the contrary, that marriage offers risks and drawbacks that are mitigated or avoided altogether when people choose not to marry.
If Satan took up marriage counseling, he would want people to believe that marriage is primarily a matter of an individual’s personal lifestyle, that before marriage is about giving oneself to another person to love and to serve, marriage is about a sense of personal well-being and fulfillment.’
If Satan took up marriage counseling, he would want people to believe marriage is so risky that it is best to postpone it almost indefinitely, that it is so significant and perilous an undertaking that people should not even consider it until they have completed their education, begun a career, and become well established in life. He would especially want young people to anticipate it with a sense of dread instead of excitement.
If Satan took up marriage counseling, he would want even Christians to focus more on the struggles and difficulties of marriage than on its joys. He would want even Christians to talk often about how hard it is and seldom about how good it is. And he would most certainly want Christians to forget all about the reality that the deepest meaning of marriage is not first about a husband and wife but about Christ and his church. (1).
Tim has several more thoughts to share on how Satan wants to distort how you and your spouse see marriage. Please take 5 minutes to read the rest of them by going to this link.
Suggested Follow-Up:
Take time to read over all these lies about marriage with your spouse. Be honest with each other about which ones you have believed or been tempted to believe. Also discuss what the corresponding truth is about marriage, that you both can use to combat the lies.
Talk together about the one or two lies that you feel may most be affecting your growth into oneness as a married couple. Ask God together for wisdom to write down 1-2 action steps He wants you to take to begin combating the lie.
We strongly encourage you both to end your time together praying for God’s wisdom and also for God’s protection from Satan’s lies. Consider using 2 Thess. 3:3 as part of that prayer.
Introduction/Follow-up by Glen Solberg at Abiding Marriage, 2024. Sources listed below.
Source: (1) Tim Challies Online Post: https://www.challies.com/articles/if-satan-took-up-marriage-counseling/
Image by Gordon Johnson from Pixabay
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